A comment he made as we stood at my car at 3am stuck with me. Our conversation had begun around the corner transition, changed, shifted and then returned. At one point he had actually walked across the street back to the bar only to cross the lanes again to continue our conversation. We have a way with each other, always challenging, inquiring but yet knowing more than we say aloud.
His comment was on me as an individual, on my “case-study” as he called it. At first I couldn’t tell if the comment resonated through my head over the course of the last few days simply because he said it. Surely we have had more signature discussions and detailed flirting than that. Was it fear of having someone study who I was? Somehow I think the issue was that for the first time in my life, I’ve wanted someone to actually study who I am and care for me in that way. Perhaps even more amazing is that he, specifically him, is one of the first men that I have meet that make me want to share who I am, what made me who I am, and how that will help me be who I want to be in the future.
I honestly don’t think that he and I will ever be more than supportive kindred souls, but the fact that there he is there means there might be more. Above that I am more ready than I have been before to perhaps allow someone to study me.
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the realities or just perception of one transplant in her mid-twenties
1 comment:
getting studied is definitely cool. i'm not sure if i've ever been studied because women are a little reserved about that kind of stuff. but if i had to guess, i would assume that someone at some point has studied me and it probably felt really good.
i'm not sure whether to say that this is a good thing or bad thing, so i will just say that it shows that he is interested. interest generates desire. desire generates lust. you know the rest.
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