random bits on a lunch break

if you knew me, really knew me, you would know that i crave touch. but at the same time i am picking about the touch i receive.
------
as his fingers moved up my arm, he apologized for the length of his nails. i stepped closer. his hand moved from my arm to my spine, and he asked if i minded as he moved my shirt out of the way. we talked about our days briefly barely needing to fill in the reasoning for our reactions or emotions but understanding it all.
"not to say it because it needs to be said, but this right now is the best part of my whole day," he whispered as his lips were pressed against my ear. for a moment as his fingers moved across my back under my sweater, i let my face relax, my eyes close and the grin slide across my lips. "your face right now says it all." and then reality hit, as the next song came on as rockband continued. customers turned to ask for another drink, and his hand eventually trailed across my back to return to tending bar.
-----
if i was born 18 hours and 6 minutes later i would be Aries. until yesterday i never thought about how much i really am a cusp between Aries and Pisces. im still working on laying out my next tattoo to embrace that idea for my birthday. i should work a little harder on that.
-----
i dreamed of gardening last night. landscaping to be exact. tulips were blooming and we were fixing the grass, as the neighborhood was hanging huge pieces of red, orange, and yellow fabric was outdoor decor. the neighborhood was coming to life and burning with a passion that spoke in a sultry, sexy voice like a crackling fire pit.

txt flirting

my failure.
or maybe my failure lies in the lack of ability to turn txting into physical action. or perhaps at this point im not even sure if it is failure. is it?


example the leaves me confused and awkward:

me: the dropping temps coupled w/ my urge to hibernate make me want to schedule that pj spooning party.

him: WILL YOU WEAR, VALORE

me: Is that a requirement? Im about soft touch but lean more to satin/silk

him: PERFECT. SKIN STIMULATOR AND SIMULATOR

me: your clothing selection?

him: LEATHER

me: hmmmm. interesting choice.

me: btw. hope you are having a good night. if you see a break in the clouds try to see the comet lulins

him: THANX


-----

feel free to laugh ...

i woke up this morning

wishing he was there next to me. as i dozed back to sleep, unwilling to let the sandman slip from my grip, i dreamed about spooning. i dreamed about the warmth of him next to me and debated where his hand would sit or perhaps grip.
last time we talked he proposed the idea of a pj spooning date. i wonder if he knew that i wouldn't be able to shake that idea from my head.
in his nature he doesn't dwell on items. my nature allows me to just do that.

---

my motto was simply just to try.
i hate my motto when i try and fail.
more often than not, i do fail.

love him. i wonder if he knows it.

two days ago he started calling me "kitty kat." the first time, i smiled and figured it was something passing. after all it is a very logical nickname progression. last night when i walked into the room and he yelled it across the bar with such enthusiasm, i realized that only two people in my life have used that nickname on the regular. for some reason it made complete sense that it was the two of you. when we were driving home, he used it again and i told him it was one the second and how i see similarities between you and him. he told me it came to him one morning a few days ago when he woke up with a michael jackson song in his head.



excerpts from him during the ride last night (because i want to write, but i dont have time and im unwilling to forget):

"you are one of the reasons why i truly believe in timeless and ageless."

"i don't think of you as a sister or even step sister."

"i honestly think that we could have met at any point of life and been good. We would have got along wonderfully in high school. i would have stuck to you and absorbed everything good about you. Thats what i have a tendency to do."

"how do you feel about spooning?"..."we will have to have a pj spooning party soon."





ps. is there more of a hope of success in a relationship if we are going about it this abnormal, slowly and caringly???

you might like this.
http://2dopeboyz.com/2009/02/10/jperiod-q-tip-the-abstract-best-mixtape/

is it strange

that in my most vivid dreams, i read things? i mean i can read whatever is put in front of me. granted there only seems to be very symbolic things in front of me but, nonetheless i read. last night i struggled a bit to read his handwriting. he had given me a bill or at least what i thought was a bill until i read it and saw the messages he had written. his words were so encouraging, telling and nearly realistic.
the night before i was reading the of the city tagged across item as well as bible as i instructed the students.
i am always intrigued by dreams, really how could someone like me not be. but what gets me more is when i get these periods of vivid dreams in which the colors, names, faces, and words are so distinct i wake up able to paint them, draw them and describe them. its been over a month since my last dreams of clarity (i believe this is what i will call them). i have to wonder what triggers them. is it the need for clarity? is it the coming full moon/lunar eclipse falling after the eclipse? is it the bubbly? is it that mercury is in retrograde?

thoughts?