maya angelou's "in and out of time"

The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance...
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out of time.
When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun
and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor
I had always loved you more.
You freed your braids...
gave your hair to the breeze.
It hummed like a hive of honey bees.
I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there....
Mmmm...God how I love your hair.
You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.
Lost, injured, hurt by chance.
I screamed to the heavens....loudly screamed....
Trying to change our nightmares to dreams...
The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out
in and out
in and out
of time.



---------
it struck a chord.

just for the record - things to note

1. i think i might actually like running. not alone or for speed. but it makes me feel like i am in control of something and have actually accomplished something in the day...even if it is just a 30 minute jog when your knee is killing you.
   
2. i like margaritas without salt or sugar on the rim. call me what you will but i dont like either and i like my margaritas naked.
   
3. saturday i spent the day mostly detached from technology. i suggest at least one day a month doing such. i hope to have one day without all tech communication methods by the end of the month.
   
4. i made a list this weekend of elements of myself that i am working on embracing, understanding and growing. some were simple, like my attraction to certain colors while others were deeper like how i view people around me.
   
5. i am tired of looking for a new housemate. more than that im tired of showing people my house. it is an awkward process of opening your life to people and saying "here is my hideaway, please come in to see if you will be part of it."
   
6. i miss my relationship with certain family members.
   
7. i live in a community where 97% of people have grown up together and know each other from years of interaction. and im realizing that i dont think that community exists anywhere for me. and more importantly i might not want to be a part of it, if it did.
   
8. i hate the noise my ice cream truck makes. sirens should be reserved for emergencies. its siren reminds me of old bomb sirens.
   
9. i will be returning to Portland for a mini-vacation in 8 days. i am not ready. i am worried that i will come back more stressed and sleepless than i am now.
   
10. i am looking forward to going home in more ways than i know how to express.
    
11. i believe i will start updating my blog via my iphone... i don't know why i havent before, but i think i will.
    
12. im more at peace now with myself than i have ever been. not content mind you, but at peace.
    
13. i often feel that i am better at expressing my love through writing than any other form.
    
14. i have come to grips with being cheesy. if you dont like it - tough luck... its just me.
    
15. there is always more to say.... but never enough time to say it.

we identify with what we want to..... but maybe this is closer to home than i thought.

When Kat was born, the Sun was in the Sign Pisces, the Visionary or the Mystic. Kat 's basic sanity and vitality depend upon her frequent and regular immersion in experiences that help her connect to herself as something vaster, more mysterious and far less definable than merely her ego, body or personality. Kat needs to explore states that involve her formlessness and boundarylessness. To dissolve the narrow definitions of the self into something larger. In short, Kat requires a steady diet of altered-state experiences to nourish the Mystic and the Visionary at the core of her her need and capacity to experience other worlds, inner, meditative or creative, as just as real and compelling as the outer world. These experiences should be consciously chosen, calming, and heighten Kat 's awareness--not dull it with escapist or addictive behavior. Kat 's nature is sensitive, compassionate, dreamy, and intuitive, full of mystical or psychic sensibilities. An atheistic, skeptical, totally linear and uncompromisingly pragmatic attitude and lifestyle would be poisonous to her. For a relationship to blossom, committed love must deepen Kat 's sense of the indescribable Mystery of life, not reduce it. In intimacy, Kat 's tendency towards sappiness may present some problems, but they're insurmountable only in two cases: if Kat has chosen to numb her sensitivity with addictions, or if she has chosen a rigid, judgmental and defensive realist as a mate. Kat 's constant, if unspoken, search for Spirit at the core of everything may seem unworkably Quixotic at times, yet that same search can recognize and honor the soul of her mate and add immeasurably to the enchantment of the relationship.