ive decided

to put it back on the back burner where it sat for so long before.
because playing with fire is the only way that you can truly understand it, but it is almost a promise that you will get burned. i may like to play with candles, flames, and wax - burning is not what i can handle right now.
even the other night when i thought he had blown the steam, he sent me perhaps the most meaningful text i could have come at that moment.
and then after i nearly breakdown and cry, i pull myself together enough to continue.

"there is something there," she says, "you can see it in the way he looks at you."

something is there. but i think i am coming to grips with it just being a something.
not everything. and not really anything.