this used to be my playground

yes, tacky lyrics. yes, i do know that song. and yes, i know you do too.
how is that i used to be able to say it all here, but it all out on the line and express my fears, frustrations, loves, hopes, and realities... but now i don't even express myself in written word that often?
i have my paper and pen journal, but i have never given up my pen to paper expression.
also frustrating that i tend to only write when i am sad, broken, hurt, or angry. one might think these are the only emotions that i truly feel. this of course is unrealistic, and untrue.
in reading the years of my writing and personal expression one might also be able to pull out the themes of my frustrations. the constant determination of finding myself or making sure my life centers on me and that no one takes my respect from who i am. a constant battle to love myself above all else and to realize the importance of people in my life.....
sigh. once again verbal throw-up.
for now that it is it.
writing will increase.