me. the ugly pieces.

im 24.
im broke.
i have more college and grad school loans than i would like to admit.
i have a masters degree.
i have two jobs - one full time and one part time.
i'm taking a leadership class for leaders in education.
i'm struggling to pay the bills.
most of the people i love are elsewhere. im not sure if im running from them or they are from me.
my family thinks i am a fuck up but yet they aspire to be me.
people in my life think i have my shit together - but the reality is... i dont.
i often want to pack up and run away, or simplify.
i am not comfortable with my body. never have been. only dream one day to be.
i am tried of being accomplished for being young. im tried of being too young to be where i want to be.
im lonely. not all the time, but a large portion of the time.
i fall in love and love the wrong men.
sadly the good men that i really love, i never allow to be more than a huge support.
i love people and for most people would do more than i should - risking my won sanity and financial status.
im considering selling the necklaces my father gave me to pay him some of the money he wants. is that wrong? i never wear them and i dont like gold.
the worse part.... i'm not proud of who i am.

i guess there is more to say. but im done putting it out there to the real world, as small as this blog reaches.